Me.. playing games..

So.. I was just accused of playing games.. because I don't want to deal with a guy who is interested in hanging out for the primary purpose of having sex. Now.. I can say that I understand his points.. which mainly pointed out that "HE" hadn't said to me that I was just a piece of ass.. and that it was me.. who I suppose was complicating things..

His thought process was ... since the possibility of Mrs Right coming along was slim.. then why not just have fun and have sex.. and be honest about it. I mean its not a bad idea.. and it beats being lied too.. but I wan't more than that.. I've already had sex with him twice.. and honestly it wasn't enough to want to keep me coming back. I could see if we had just a really great time together.. as for our interaction.. if the conversation was great.. or he could really make me laugh..or if he just put it down on me.. but each time.. he was drinking.. I didn't have an orgasm and it was lights out for him when he was done. Actually, he watched some TV show he'd saved to his computer.. as I just sat there.. so I slept.. and woke up in the morning and left. Why stick around.. the 1st time I came and "chilled" with him.. he was like.. hey call me later and we'll hang out and do something.. Real.. and I called.. and he didn't answer nor return my call at all.. so.. I don't even know why I went back...

Well I kinda do.. and it was for the wrong reason. You know.. I wonder if I'm asking for too much.. am I the one who is pushing guys away.. but.. I mean.. I don't think my wants and desires are asking for too much... Lets hang out.. have fun.. if the chemistry is like that then.. do other things.. but.. I just don't like idea that it will never turn into anything.. even if we ended up hella cool friends.. and really had some sort of arrangement.. that just worked. . .. I need at least our interactions to be fun.. not misleading.. or just blah.. such as me.. laying there after sex.. frustrated because He's done already.. and isn't giving me any dayum attention.

I'm not going to just turn into this ultra aggressive female.. I mean.. maybe if I'm 35 and still single with no kids.. I'll probably be like fuck it.. and just take some ass when I want it and go about my way... but right now.. I want to feel that the person I'm spending my spare time with.. and sharing my body with. . . really have a cool vibe. What kinda statement.. is No one told you to leave.. its like.. HELLO.. something is missing right about now..

So I will admit that after the chat... I was a bit disappointed.. but in a different way I felt.. like.. people are full of shit.. ha.. . . dammit.. I'm not asking for too much.. I'm probably lowering my standards.. just to seem rational.. and reasonable..